Human Resources Specialist, Mrs. Temidola Ladeinde fondly called Emats by friends, who just gave birth to triplets has narrated how she was mocked by a male colleague who said he could impregnate her while she was going through a tough time in her 12 years barrenness.
During her decade and two experience of barrenness, in a recent interview, she said there were times she felt despair and helpless.
She reminisced: “We got married in May 2009 – it’s been 12 years, seven months. Like pinch me for real… I feel elated, grateful, and privileged. Three beautiful goody bags in one shop, it’s amazing!
” I won’t say I was strong throughout the journey; no. There were different emotions of faith and expectations but there were also moments of despair, helplessness and feeling overwhelmed. There were days of unhindered happiness and there were days of uncontrollable tears. But there was no month that I didn’t feel disappointed. I had reasons to give up but I never stopped hoping.
“Sincerely, it wasn’t easy. First off, my husband shielded me a lot from societal pressure. There were outings and gatherings that we didn’t attend because I didn’t feel like it. There was even an occasion that we drove back home because I became hysterical on the way to the event. We talk and discuss a lot. We talk about everything and anything freely. We make excuses for people and we know when to withdraw from any particular relationship.
“Nobody was more important than either of us to the extent of making us unhappy because of children. However, neither of us ever told the other, “I didn’t marry you because of children.” No, not once. We both love children and both of us always wanted to have our children. We remained resolute in our desire for children all through the years. We got tired but we didn’t stop trying.
“We have two common grounds: Friendship and God. We maintained our friendship in marriage. We respected our boundaries. We kept growing and developing in areas where we could. We both have a unique relationship with God as individuals, as a couple, and as a family.”
Ladeinde revealed how she tried all possible means to get pregnant amid advice that she should adopt a child.
“I started seeking medical answers barely six months into our marriage. Based on observations, I just believe that it doesn’t take so much time to get impregnated. Also because of our status as Christians, we practiced abstinence from sex during our courtship and were looking forward to being rewarded with pregnancy as soon as possible. So, for me, that we didn’t achieve a pregnancy within three months, was concerning and we should seek help soon enough.
“We did all that is permissible by God and in line with our faith. We sought medical help from the simplest to the advanced (ovulation tracking, IUI, and IVF). We went through both invasive and non-invasive treatments, including fibroid surgery. We consulted multiple doctors at different times in private and public practices.
“Initially, all indicators pointed at “unexplainable primary infertility” for many years. But as I kept growing older, few medical conditions started coming up: fibroid, endometriosis, low AMH, hormonal imbalance. Hmnnnn, it was a tough and rough journey. So much effort, no single pregnancy. I’m not kidding, our triplets were my first and only pregnancy! God is awesome.
“Yes, I was advised to consider adoption. I also attended some seminars where legal adoption was discussed extensively and encouraged as a viable option. And, of course, I gave it a try. I even started the process. I met good people who connected me with relevant departments in both Ogun and Oyo states.
“I got my husband’s consent to submit applications to both and I was ready to file for adoption at the two states’ ministries with the hope that one of them would be successful. Graciously, we were confirmed pregnant seven months after we considered taking the steps.
“I have come to believe in legal adoption and I do not see it as meaning loss of faith nor of giving up on oneself, ” she told Punch.