Have you been looking forward to sex with someone, and it turned out so bad?
Television, porn and movies have always painted sex the first time as something so mindblowing we are disappointed when the first time we have sex with someone new it’s drab – assuming you are down with pre-marital sex and fornication – we feel that something is wrong with them or us.
Here’s why sex the first time might be bad;
You don’t know anything about them
That’s a valid reason for really bad sex. Except you are incredibly horny, most people require some sort of knowledge of the person who is essentially going to be inside them. The intimacy of the mind is as important as the body.
You have no idea about their sexual preference and vice versa
Good sex takes time – not discounting instant sexual connections – but most times it’s not there instantly.
You don’t even know anything about what they want, and you don’t know about what they want. What if they want to kiss with their tongue but you don’t so it becomes a clash of tongues?
You haven’t taught them what you want
If you are still fornicating, there is a high chance that you are having sex with many people and you can start to compare.
If you find yourself comparing, stop it! Take out time to teach the new person what you love and like and take turns pleasuring each other. Communication is key.
An easy way around it is to spend a lot of time with foreplay, that offers you a chance to explore and get to know each other’s bodies.
It’s not easy to be naked around someone new, you might have so many questions on your mind and wonder if they like your body. Such intrusive thoughts won’t let you enjoy sex. So, embrace your sexiness, let yourself go and believe in yourself.
Even if you are not self-conscious, they might be and the result is bad sex. Make them comfortable by complimenting their bodies, ‘I love your …’ fill the blank space with genuine compliments.
Try out new things, have sex on a roof, in a room full of mirrors, with toys, in a different position – all with the consent of course. The novelty will add to the enjoyment.